What is that Part of Ourselves which Watches all the other Parts?

Recently I’ve received some training in Internal Family Systems, a treatment methodology developed in the 1980’s by Richard C. Schwartz. I have come to embrace this modality as it combines the psychological with the spiritual in a way which is very healing. Schwartz points out that our psyche is made up of various autonomous parts. In this short essay, I would like to focus on what that means.

In IFS, the Self is that which sees all the parts and attempts to reach them with friendship and compassion. It is ‘aware’ of our being and it sees the layers of protection these parts have as a result of emotional injuries along the way. The parts take on ‘burdens’ which are the pain or result of traumas. These burdens force parts into ‘exile’ and these ‘Exiles’ are defended by ‘Managers’ and ‘Firefighters.’ Parts can be in conflict or in congruence with one another too.

The therapist tries to get the client curious about their parts or choose one which they would particularly want to get to know better. Curiosity originates in the ‘Self’ and in the best sense this Self is the true healing agent. The Self engages with the parts or the managers who are defending their parts in an attempt to befriend the part. They get permission from the managers to connect with the part around their burdens, the idea being for the part to eventually let go of the burden. There is a focus on the burden or pain. And finally, there is an attempt to have the part explain its role in relation to the Self and what it is trying to teach the Self. The goal is for the Self to help the part to unburden its feeling as a result of the trauma.

These parts of ourselves are imprints based upon events which are no longer happening in most cases and so they are arbitrary and abstract constructs. The Self knows that the parts are anachronistic, that parts cling to a defensive, often dysfunctional mode so as to survive a trauma which no longer is happening. Once the part unburdens the pain and recognizes the caring Self, there is no need for the part to exist and so it can melt away.





Ted had a tendency to freeze up and try to stall the flow of life. He would watch movies and TV series and hardly move. His was an early trauma, abandoned by his mother who had two major surgeries right after his birth. Ted was raised by a nurse who apparently handled him technically correct but without the visceral loving touch of his biological mother. Ted is short tempered; easily frustrated. He retreats into himself and stops functioning. Inside he feels as if there is no future; he feels hopeless. When his ‘Self’ began a ‘relationship’ with this stuck child, the therapist asked this part if it could see any images which described the burden, which explained why he felt stuck. He was flooded by a series of images which came so fast that his mind couldn’t analyze them yet they were so vivid that later he was able to understand them. I won’t go into the imagery here except to say that the last image was of a crystal clear river and represented his cleared consciousness and the full flow of his life force.

Inasmuch as our parts are maya or illusions, they still plague us with inner suffering. The higher Self must recognize these autonomous parts with compassion, give them their due and allow them to realize that they do not have to play their role any longer. They need to be respectfully acknowledged and gently relieved of their perceived duty of protecting the Self. This is an empowering process as the power of love increases exponentially through the act of loving a part of ourselves. Then this flow is broadcast to the surrounding environment. Peace and love begin within and then affect the universe in a butterfly effect. Try it. It’s real.


Aaron Roy Spungin Ph.D

psychotherapist, social worker